I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
