we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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