I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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