I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
