scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
