I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Is it because I queefed?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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