Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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