Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
