Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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