My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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