You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
