I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize