Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
