I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
