I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i out mim tonsoeep
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