worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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