she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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