LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
