Whatcha textin bout Willis?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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