she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
