You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
