I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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