What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
