I got chris browned last night
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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