I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
