My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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