Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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