yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
sarcasm needs its own font
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
