If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
