Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
