WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I came so hard my ears popped.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
