Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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