Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
