drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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