Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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