sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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