i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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