Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
