dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He has the fingertips of a God
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