Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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