I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
babies were throwing up all over the place
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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