I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
