were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize