Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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