Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
