fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize