I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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