Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
