well you can't waste a boner
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
