: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
