I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
