They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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