im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize