Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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