How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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