it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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