your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize