her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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