he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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