well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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