Having a random hookup so left but love u
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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